Begin Again

Easter has always been a fun day filled with dying Easter eggs, chocolate, baskets, egg hunts, and colorful jelly beans. But this year’s Easter was different. I woke up alone and came downstairs to the painful quietness. No Easter basket waiting for me on the table. No fun colorful breakfast plans. Instead, a painful memory eating at me of five years ago when I went on an Easter Egg hunt and ended up with a shiny ring on my finger.

I know I let the adversary weigh me down a little Easter morning as I sat there and allowed myself to feel very alone. It was the first time I had been alone in my house without family or friends staying there to take care of me, and suddenly the reality of things had hit. I instantly got down on my knees and asked my Heavenly Father to help push these negative thoughts out of my mind – because I know, and testify, that we are never truly alone.

Not too long after my prayer, I looked at my phone and read some texts that had been sent from various friends of mine checking in on me and making sure I was doing ok. I was once again overcome with gratitude for the angels that I have in my life watching over me.

Still feeling a little down, I went to church with a heavy heart. I will admit – I was somewhat embarrassed inside that I felt so much sadness because I know how many blessings I have in my life. The lesson taught in Young Women’s (the last hour of church) answered all my prayers. The lesson was on the Atonement and the resurrection, followed by a bearing of testimonies from the leaders and girls.

During the lesson I had the lyrics to a song I had sang in Sacrament Meeting about a month ago come to mind. It was a powerful reminder of the love Jesus Christ has for me and how He can feel and understand the heartache, betrayal and sadness I was experiencing.

Then one of the leader’s shared this video as part of the lesson and I began to cry at the powerful message that was once again, a reminder that my brother, Jesus Christ, had suffered in Gethsemane because He loved me.

Throughout the lesson my testimony was burning deep within as I once again, felt Heavenly Father’s love for me and His assurance that I was not alone and that he was taking care of me. Needless to say, I was very emotional. But perhaps the most powerful part of the lesson was when I caught something I had never thought about before. We often focus on the Atonement and the ability it gives us to forgive, to heal, and to become whole. But I had never thought about the fact that after all of the suffering, Christ re-appeared after his resurrection. He went through so much and completed his work here, but still He returned as a perfect being to bring new hope and new light. I suddenly realized that He had come back as a testament that we can rise through the dark times in our life, and live again. Though trials come and they seem dark and hopeless, there is always a brighter tomorrow and a way for us to be made whole, perfect, and to rise out of the ashes.

Suddenly Easter meant something so much more than baskets, eggs and candy. I finally realized what it was all about. Because of Him, I will heal and rise again. How grateful I am for the perfect example of my Savior. He served unconditionally and spent his entire time here making people feel their worth and find hope through His kindness and love. His friends betrayed him and yet he loved them. He died that I could be made whole again and heal my wounds. And He rose again that I may find hope in my future and look forward in faith, hope and happiness at the opportunities awaiting me.

heisrisenKeep smiling,

Kaitlyn

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